Quiet bullying or indirect aggression at work is hostile behaviour that harms another person without the aggressor being obvious. Some of the ways that this can occur is through reputational harm, like gossip, otherwise known as relational aggression. Relational aggression can be either a covert or overt way of hurting or damaging others due to relationships or group exclusion.
Quiet bullies, with their exceptional intelligence, are adept at manipulating situations to their advantage at a sophisticated level. They often are high or outstanding performers, concealing their problematic personality traits from their clients or leaders. This type of bully is a serial bully and focuses on one person at a time. They slowly undermine that person’s confidence and capacity to show up meaningfully at work.
Tactics for quiet bullies include micromanagement, setting unrealistic workloads or deadlines, withholding resources, public denigration, gossip or misinformation, gaslighting, and demeaning with false-sounding praise.
When working with their leaders, supervisors, or other shareholders, they can obscure these tendencies, and much of their excellent work is appreciated. They can also make themselves feel “indispensable” to the team.
Handing this type of bully any authority increases their ability to use the tactics above more effectively. The targeted person may then begin to retreat into self-preserving behaviours. These behaviours may include absenteeism, lack of initiative, excessive time documenting their perspectives, seeking allies, and criticizing their leaders. The bully can then use this as evidence of the target's poor performance.
The quiet bullies even know how to manage their human resource partners with documented performance problems and seek disciplinary action. The HR person is often impressed by the bully's carefully documented work and may overlook a history of similar issues with a previous target. If the leader is a high performer, the HR person may feel they must support this person.
So, what can you do if you recognize yourself in this situation?
First, if you feel you are the target, as an APSA member, you can reach out to us if this is happening to you. The sooner this happens, the better we can advise you. Another resource available to you is SFU's Anti-Bullying Specialist, Rana Hakami, who can be contacted at the SFU Bullying and Harassment Hub.
If you are a leader or supervisor, it's important to be observant. If someone in your team has a reputation for being “difficult” or having a “tough personality,” monitor the situation and, if there are issues, recommend coaching for the leader or a climate assessment for the department/unit. Your intervention can make a significant difference.
Department heads and leaders can provide comprehensive workplace training that promotes safety, respect, and fairness. This training can equip employees with the knowledge and skills to identify and address quiet bullying, fostering a supportive and healthy work environment.
Leaders and employers have the duty to enquire about a sudden change in an employee’s performance, engagement or attitude and discuss the change with the employee to find out if they are okay or need resources or assistance. Find out if the sudden shift may also arise due to problems outside the workplace.
Resources:
https://www.sepler.com/blind-spots-human-resource…