Why and how to say "no" at work
At work, especially in a job that you like, you often want to show how much of a team player you are and earn your supervisor’s respect. Taking on new projects or mandates can be exciting. Until it’s not. If you’ve already got your hands full and your supervisor comes to you with another project, should you take it on?
It depends.
Think about why you are saying "yes".
1) Is it to avoid conflict?
Many of us prefer to avoid conflict. You would do anything to appease your co-worker or supervisor by just keeping the peace and doing the task. But unless you are okay with regularly doing housekeeping or busy work tasks, you need to be okay with conflict. Not doing so can lower your job satisfaction and increase mental health issues such as depression, diabetes and heart disease. Working longer does not increase your productivity, and being tired leads to more mistakes.
2) Is it because it makes you feel validated?
Your supervisor trusts you to get things done, and you say "yes" to the pile of work because it makes you feel good. Nothing is wrong with being a reliable worker in the office. Just make sure that your higher priority work is getting the right amount of time and attention. Delegate tasks to someone else if it takes away from your job.
3) Is it because you fear consequences if you say "no"?
This is often the main reason employees don't say "yes". It has real implications because it may impact your future career. There is a way for you to say "no" without there being consequences.
4) Is it because you’re afraid you won't look like a team player?
This is quite insidious. It's very similar to avoiding conflict, but, saying "no" often doesn't look as bad as we think and often sets healthy boundaries.
Saying "yes" to a task and doing a good job takes time, energy and responsibility. If you already are overworked, adding more projects to your plate can slow you down and even hold back your entire department. And that's not being a good team player either.
How to say "no"
If it’s any of these, delay saying "yes". Say, "Let me check my calendar." You can even use the above as a quick checklist.
Only say "yes" if the project suits your abilities or expands your current skill set and doesn't disrupt your other priorities.
So how do you say "no" gracefully?
First, if you have other projects, bring them up to your boss is aware of them. Then go through which ones are a higher priority. Maybe your supervisor has forgotten your other projects. Even if they don't care, they must then still tell you what task is more important.
Be honest and straightforward.
Prepare why you're going to say "no" and make it succinct. For example, "I've got to complete x by noon so I won't have time to do y."
Say "no" in person if you can.
Emails and text messages can be misinterpreted. Speak on the phone or in person to make sure that there are no misunderstandings.
Give the person a solution.
If you can, give the person an alternative solution. "You know, I think Mary is a better fit for this task" or "It's probably more efficient if we send this out for printing."
Show appreciation.
Your boss or coworker is showing they trust you when giving you an important task. Acknowledge that by being grateful. Say something like, "Thank you for thinking of me..."
Remember that healthy boundaries go a long way to reducing stress and overwhelm in your department and in your life.
Resources:
https://www.siliconrepublic.com/advice/say-no-work-assertiveness
https://blog.rescuetime.com/how-to-say-no/
https://hbr.org/2015/12/how-to-say-no-to-taking-on-more-work
https://blog.trello.com/say-no-at-work-framework